My name is Aya Yamato and I’m a part of a group named Gorilla Bunnies. In September 2018, we asked everyone to help us out through crowd funding to create a self-published book. This book is based on my own hysterectomy experience. In this entry, I am happy to announce how much support we ultimately received.
I am proud to announce we have received a total of 97,401 yen!
This really brings tears to my eyes. Among the people who contributed, there were many who were having a hard time in their own lives/ work situation, or undergoing disease treatment. Considering everything happening in this world today, the future is uncertain for everyone. Since I myself have a tough time surviving and making ends meet each month, I understand how hard it is to donate money; it requires cutting down on living expenses from your hard-earned money. I can not thank you enough for your noble actions. Words cannot express my gratitude for all your support.
The fundraising result will enable us to print our book and send a small token of thanks to those who gave more than 1,000 yen! However there is one thing I need to tell you; my physical condition is unstable lately. There is possibility that we must ask for a bit of time before the tokens reach you. Don’t worry, I am determined to send them out. We appreciate your patience!
The book will be sold at the “27th Literary Flea Market Tokyo" on November 25th (https://bunfree.net/event/tokyo27/). I love you, love you, love you, and thank you for reading all of this entry!
The book we're trying to self-publish "Until the Penis Reaches the Uterus" is narrated by the uterus. Yes, you heard right! The uterus itself talks in first person about endometriosis and hysterectomy.
By the way, do you image the womb as a man or woman?
The uterus in or book is neither a man nor a woman, but it talks in a hard-boiled manner. I image the uterus drinking bourbon quietly by himself in a classic-style bar. Kinda like Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca."
How Does the Uterus Feel before Being Removed?
When I finally got an appointment for Hysterectomy after a loooong hopital search I was elated. However, I realized it must be awful for the uterus.
So I tried talking to it.
"Hey, do you hate me for leaving you? Are you mad at me? Do you hate the fact you're being removed?"
But ofcourse, I didn't hear anything back. As author Nahoko Uehashi says, we can't know what's going inside our own body.
So I just imagined having a conversation with the uterus. Here is what came to me.
≪Scene: Uterus and I are sitting side by side at a luxurious bar counter. The uterus is sipping bourbon, wearing a hat. I am drinking warm herbal tea. ≫
"Hey do you hate me for leaving you? Are you mad at me? Do you hate the fact you're being removed?"
"Huh? No way! In fact, why didn't you get rid of me sooner? I hurt you all the time, there was so much bleeding, making you always anemic. I ruined your life, work, hobbies and relationhips. Do you know how frustrating it is, just watching you take in all of that!? We internal organs are the happiest helping you, the host, to live a rich fulfilling life! To just exist and not have a life, that was the last thing I want to see from you. If your quality of life is going to improve by losing me, that would be more than pleasure for me!"
"But uterus, you're dying, are not you scared?"
"Haha, kiddo, you make me laugh... That's just humans' narrow way of thinking. Us internal organs and cells are individual and one at the same time. My present form is as is because it was temporarily put together as "uterus." If I stop functioning, it is not "death," it's just a change in state of being. Even if it seems like I'm gone, I will always be with you. "
Fundraise Ends in 2 more hours!
Please please help us out in funding our book. In it, you get to read more of Uterus's words of wisdom (sometimes shallow)!
I read the "The Deer King (Nakahashi Noriko)." It is a super good read highly recommended, a MUST read if you have a medical condition.There are three themes to this bookaccording to the author:
"One can not know what is happening inside their own body" "Inside the human body, viruses, bacteria and others elements correct and fight with each other day by day" "This phenomenon is similar to how society functions"
It is a story where cultural anthropology, politics, aristocracy, warriors, female assassinator, spy group and general people are intertwined. Plus there are action scenes and forbidden love story involved. On TOP of that the book covers the theme "What is disease?" "What is life?"
The book is so intricate, I'm gonna explain only one part of the book:
Story takes place in a land recently occupied by Zol Empire. People of Zol do not drink animal milk or inject vaccines or medicine because they believe it is "穢れ（a Japanese concept where the soul becomes impure)". Zols also believe that one becomes sick become his/her actions were "filthy" and the body has lost its purity.
When the Zol empire prince catches a deadly disease called "black wolf fever," he actually sacrifices his life by refusing medicinde by injection saying, "I'd rather die than lose my purity."
Female Disease = Filthiness?
When I read this part, I recalled the time when I informed my family about my endometriosis. Here are some of the things they told me:
"What sort of filthy things did you do to get this condition( in reality, a more vulgar expression was used)?" "Don't leave the house, don't go to the Doctor's because our family will be shamed." "Do not get any testing done." "Do not take medicine."
At this time, I had no clue what they were saying and got confused.
Endometriosis is an autoimmune and hormonal disease. Sickness is caused because immunes attack its own body, which it shouldn't do. So it's due to the body's control system having a glitch. It is not a disease caused by viruse or bacteria. Endometriosis is NOT STD! That is why there is no cure for endometriosis currently.
Japanese Belief: "Filth" Contaminates the Entire Family
However, upon reading this book I finally came to the realization that my family's words are from their belief that illness is caused by ones "filthy actions," and medical examination and medicine causes "impurity in the body."
Especially in Japan, the indigenous belief that associates women with impurity is still prevailent. Long ago, women were isolated from their community and confined to a hut during menstruation since she was deemed "filthy." Even today women are not allowed on Sumo rings; words such as menstruation or uterus are considered "obscene, "as I experienced.
My family is still slave to that ancient faith. Me, a woman (filthy by nature according to them), to have a condition associated with menstruation, considered the PINNACLE of filthiness was just NOT ACCEPTABLE. My family went bezerk when I told them I have endo, cuz in Japan one family member's "filth" is believed to contaminate the entire family. This belief live to this day; it is considered a social faux pas to send New Year 's cards to people whose relatives have died the past year.
Now I understand what they were really saying to me was "No way, You DO NOT have a uterus condition because if you do, that make US filthy!"
Is YOUR Uterus "Filthy?"
So in Japan the Uterus itself is often times seen as a "filthy" organ, but I don't believe so! How about your Uterus? Is it filthy? Ofcourse not! The Uterus is a good organ; and I'm not saying this because it allows women to carry children.
Contribution Deadline TODAY!!
The book we're trying to self-publish, "Until the Penis Reaches the Uterus" is narrated by the Uterus itself. Yes, you get to read the Uterus itself how it feels to be a Uterus with endometriosis and to get hysterectomy.
Fundraise Deadline TONIGHT!
Thanks to you all, we've got this much donation so far! I am so so so greatful!💎💎💎 You still have tonight to donate; I'd really appreciate it if you could help us out.
I went to a place called "love hotel" in Japan which rents out room by the hour with my editor Ms. M to shoot the cover of our book "Until the penis arrives at the uterus" (yes you heard right, that's the title).
In such a hotel there is a panel which shows pictures of the interior of each room. However, the most worrisome thing for me was the price; not the interior. Production costs occur in unexpected and places when you try to make things. Yes, like paying for a Love Hotel room for a shoot.
"Which room should we get?"
"The cheapest one!"
As Ms.M and I were conferring upon which room to use, a sharp voice came flying from the reception counter that seemed unattended.
"Two women aren't allowed to use our rooms!!"
The receptionist said this in a scolding tone as though we were shoplifting or something.
First feeling that sprang up: "that's not fair!!"
The first thing that came to my mind was "that's unfair!." There was a black mirror covering the reception desk. I can not see who is criticizing me but THEY get to see me. I thought the asymmetry of information was unfair.
I am not criticizing that the employees are hidden. Probably a necessary gimic to protect employees.
Operation based on discrimination
Then I thought, "We're gonna pay money properly and have not done anything bad so far nor in the future, why will you not let us in?"
I seriously don't understand the logic behind refusing entry of 2 women who will will pay and also will use the room nicely.
For example, let's say that I threatened a male with a knife on the roadside and brought him with me to the hotel. The hotel side will have no problem accepting me and the guy as guests! This can not be understood logically.
No matter how much money you pay, we will not accept you as a customer and will not let you use this facility. The reason is clear, its because they thought we must be lesbians.
This is the same as saying that someone can not use a facility because of color of the skin, where the birthplace is, or so on.
In short, the business is operated with just discriminatory feelings without logical reasoning. So lame.
By discriminating by emotion, by deciding people as "strange" by appearance, who's gonna be happy? No one looked happy in that hotel lobby, at least. I suffered mental damage in this case but I more than that, I was embarrassed. "I am sorry this country is like hits."
The media keeps saying the Japanese will wow the world with out "OMOTENASHI (hospitality) at the 2020 Olympics.
I don't believe it, all they ever talk about is superficial hospitality.
I think true hospitality is consciously educating ourselves and striving to eliminate irrational discrimination and accepting customers as who they are.
There's no way Japanese business will be able to provide for foreign guests something they can not provide for people from their own country.
Two days to deadline for Contributions
We're having a fundraise for production of this book until the end of this month!